KWM Dictionary of Missionary Lingo

 

Elder Liechty’s Dictionary of Missionary LINGO

KWM version 2.2
Revised by Elder Hyer (he will bear the mantle from now on)

A
AP – Assistant to the President
AirDrop – IPAD feature used to share information, used as missionary snapchat most of the time.
Apartment Treasures – things that other missionaries left behind who lived in the apartment before.
Ape – assistant to the president
Apostate – 1. Breaking rules 2. Missionaries who break rules 3. Churches who do not enjoy the fullness of the gospel 4. The practices of an apostate church 5. Someone not living according to the gospel
Arizona missionary – a missionary who hates all missionaries from Utah.
Ark mark – 40 days before the end of a mission
Ate up – stupid, like sharks ate up your brain. Brought into the mission by Ben Brun in Lake Shawnee Ward Topeka

B
B.O.M. – Book of Mormon. “Dropping boms”
B.R.T. – Build Relationship of Trust
Backing – the act of guiding someone while they are reversing a car. Though faithfully done, it is rarely taken seriously, defeating its purpose.
Bautismos por Dias– baptisms for days.
Bible Bashing – a sport in which two teams use scriptures from the bible to prove a point, and no one wins. See D&C 50:17-20
Birth – entering the mission field
Birthplace – a missionary’s first area
Blowing up – doing really well
Bogart – to steal. Someone who steals.
Brother – a missionary trained by the same trainer
Bump day – the quarter mark of the mission

C
C.A.M. – couples awaiting marriage. Those elders and sisters who go home and get married to each other
C.C.S.M. – Colorado, Colorado Springs Mission. A mother mission of the KWM.
C.P.R. – Church, pray, read. The three things one needs to do to stay spiritually alive.
Cashtag ( $ ) – used as a hashtag when something is really great  “$dunk’d $cashtag $tism $nocheblanca” see slashtag
Celestial Parking – a parking spot where you can pull through and not reverse. Missionaries will go to great distances to find these parking spots.
Churchtism – an indicator of investigators committed to come to church and will most likely keep the commitment.
Chaff – Someone unprepared and unwilling to progress. Word often is mumbled walking away from a door or has the word DROPPED yelled loudly afterwards.
Chalk, chalk it up – to count things as lessons that shouldn’t be or lying about indicators when accounting. . E.g. Giving someone a pass along card and counting it as another lesson, or mentioning a baptismal date to someone and counting them on date whether or not they accepted that as their goal.
Chigger – invisible bugs that bite. Live in grass and are waiting to attack you. KWM missionaries can be identified by chigger bite scars on their legs.
Clear cut vision – a statement written by a missionary outlining their expectations for their mission.
Corn dog – a missionary who can’t have fun because they have a proverbial stick up their butt. See ZL

D
D-town – Derby Kansas
DL – district leader
DLA – District Leader Accountabilities. A meeting where district leaders learn skills and discuss their biggest challenges as a district leader, like how to teach and correct sister missionaries.
DLC – 1. District leader companion 2. District lunch coordinator, one of the most serious assignments in the mission
DLC tracting – when district leaders are in a meeting and the DLCs go tracting. Known as the least effective form of contacting.
Dad – the trainer of an elder or a sister’s first district leader
Deacon’s collar – When you can see someone’s tie because their collar isn’t all the way down.
Daughter – trainee of a sister
Dear John/Jane – a letter ending a relationship
Dear Tom – the opposite of a Dear John, a form of being trunky.
Death – being done with a mission
Derbs, Dirty Derbs – Derby Kansas
Demo Derby– Derby Kansas
Drop Lesson – a lesson in which a companionship is bold to test the commitment of an investigator, or uses their friendship to try to threaten an investigator that they won’t come back if the investigators don’t keep commitments.
Double date district – a district with one set of elders and one set of sisters
Dump day – last day in the mission field
Dunk, Dunk’d – to baptize
Dunk town – Derby Kansas

E
E.T. – emergency transfer. Being transferred not on set transfer days for an unusual reason, e.g. Disobedience, sickness
Eight cow – very good, “an eight cow lesson”
Elect – a prepared investigator
Elder Accent– An accent that a group of elders acquires after spending too much time together, is a horrific blend of an Australian and a british accent. Origin- Elder Hoak
Elders quorum– a district of all elders
Eternigator – an investigator who loves the missionaries, but won’t ever keep commitments.

F

Factory – Utah, more specifically Utah county.
Faith Factor – a challenge sent out by leadership, usually to do something really big, or something ridiculous, hopefully to increase faith or get numbers.
Fear the wheat – a phrase to warn trunky missionaries to lock their hearts from Kansas girls. Used mostly in college towns or YSA. See mission goggles.
Folk Jam Fest – A musical performance by missionaries during the lunch before a Transfer Devo.
Foster Child – see Mini missionary
Four in Five – fulfilling four objectives from we baptize in one lesson or five minutes
Fruit of my loins – a trainee, see posterity.
Full purpose – Effectively finding, teaching, baptizing, retaining and activating at the same time. A missionary who does these things.
FURP – follow up, read pray. Used in planning.

G
Gator – investigator, about to get wet.
Grandpa/grandma – a trainer’s trainer.
Great and spacious building – any large apostate church.
Greenie – Condescending term for new missionaries.
Greenie fire – the excitement that new missionaries have for the work, usually extinguished by months of rejection.
Greenie pride – the pride held by new missionaries who think they know what they’re doing.
Grow up in Kansas – becoming converted while in the KWM, the best mission in the world.
Going hard – working hard.
Golden – see solid
Gone Johnson – 1. gone 2. being transferred 3. going home.

H
Hamm – hard as a Mormon missionary, derived from an inappropriate worldly phrase. “Go Hamm, going Hamm”
Hand hug – where an elder and sister put their hands together and wrap thumbs to simulate a hug. A form of flirting.
Hang out house – the home of a member, less active, or eternigator who lets missionaries hang out at their house for extended periods of time so the missionaries don’t have to do missionary work.
High preisting it – having a different colored suit coat than pants.
Homesick – missing home, a missionary is not trunky until after their half way point.
Hospital – being in one of the zones near the mission office for easy
access to president for medical or emotional reasons.
Hump day – Halfway point of a mission

I
Illegal – unapproved in the mission
Improvement plans – a report that a companionship has to make if they do not hit standard- thought by some to be the worst thing in the world.

J
J.C. – 1. Jesus Christ 2. Junction city, Kansas
J-dub – Jehovah’s Witness. An apostate religion which missionaries commonly spread rumors about. Missionaries are commonly mistaken for them and see them as a rival.
Jagaloon – silly name to call someone. A raccoon with antlers.
Junk City – Junction City, Kansas
Jump day – first day in the mission

K
Key indies – shortened form of key indicators, sometimes just indies. Also a mission musical group.
Kill – to be a departing missionary’s last companion
Killing it – To work hard, seeing lots of success
KWM– Kansas Wichita Mission, doctrinally the best mission in the world.
Kwimer – a missionary who has served in the Kansas Wichita mission.
KdubM – Nickname for Kansas Wichita Mission, the best mission in the world.

L
L.O.C. – the law of chastity
La La Land – Lawrence Kansas
La mera frontera – the best frontier, Liberal Zone
Land of eternal p-days – Home, used when referring to going home,  “being transferred to the land of eternal p-days. ”
Land of milk and honey – Garden City zone
Land of Good Gravy– Derby Zone, due to the baptisms there it rains gravy
Lamar Beach – Lamar Colorado, known as the beach, being the west edge of the mission.
Legal – approved in the mission
Legend – a missionary widely known usually for outstanding work.
Line in the water – time spent working
Lock your heart – from the talk by Ezra Taft Benson “Lock Your Heart” which is given to all new missionaries. The phrase is used to warn missionaries to guard themselves against romantic feelings.
Lone leader – when there is an E.T. and there is only one zone leader in a zone.

M
Make it happen plan– a plan made right after you put someone on date, what you are going to do to get them baptized.
M.B.C. – mutual binding commitment. Committing yourself to doing something whenever you extend a commitment to someone else. Introduced to the mission by Elder Myers and Elder Budge.
M.I.H.P– see make it happen plan
M.I.M. – Missouri Independence Mission, one of the mother missions of KWM.
Miracle Message – text messages forwarded to a zone or the whole mission which contain uplifting experiences
Mini missionary – youth who stay with a set of missionaries overnight or for several days.
Mantle – the power and responsibility that comes with the calling of a missionary. A glow that attracts laurels to elders.
Mama Bell – affectionate name for Sister Bell
Man-happenin’ – Manhattan, Kansas
Mijijirri – Spanish word, definition unknown, can be slacker
Miscarriage – being called to train, but having the trainee go home in the MTC.
Mission brain – see mission veil.
Mission Goggles – seeing every member of the opposite gender as much more attractive, just because you’re on a mission.
Mission tan – a clear tan line just above the elbow and halfway up the neck from short sleeve, collared shirt also around the wrist from a watch.
Mission twenty – the twenty or more pounds a missionary gains on a state side mission.
Mission Veil – Spiritual condition causing missionaries to forget everything before the mission. Especially names of movies, bands, etc.
Mom – the trainer of a sister or the sister who has been out longest in an elder’s first district. If no sisters in district, the STL who has been out longest.
Muscle of the Mission – Wichita zone, only used by leadership of Wichita Zone, sometimes prez.

N
Noche Blanca – Christmas Eve, inviting investigators to be baptized on Christmas Eve.

O
OTOI – On top of it
Obedience walk – when appointments fall through at night, so one walks around around trying to talk to people until 9:00.

P
P-day – preparation day or play day. The day where missionaries do laundry, buy groceries and do various other activities that cannot be done throughout the week. Worshiped by trunky missionaries
P-day clothes – regular casual clothing, used on p-day when not in public or when doing service
PTB – see Plan to baptize
Papa Bell – affectionate name for President Bell
Parked – Not being able to use mission vehicles because of bad weather or as a consequence for misuse of vehicles.
Personal contacting – finding through own efforts
Pivot point – a point in a missionary’s mission where they change directions of thought and they do even better.
Pink wash– when a set of sisters replaces a set of elders in an area. See whitewash
Plan to baptize – a report that goes over things that a companionship will do to see success in a transfer.
Pregnant – being called to train the next transfer
Prez. – mission president “prez. Bell”.
Pros. Ball – pick-up games of basketball then teaching a lesson to those playing. Known as one of the most effective forms of personal contacting.
Pros. Clothes– The clothing which missionaries are required to wear while proselyting or in public with few exceptions.
Poach – to teach another companionship’s investigator and count them as a new investigator.
Powwow – a meeting the first Friday after transfers to get to know each other and set expectations. Usually there are a few short trainings.
Posterity – the trainees of one’s trainee
Posterity Tie– a tie passed down from trainer to trainee

Q
Quality check– the second appointment with a promising investigator to make sure they are as solid as they seem.
R
Rainmaker – a missionary who is well known for his success and ability to baptize.
Real Time Planning – a period of time set apart to set up appointments for the next day. Introduced to the mission by Elder Jones and Elder Rojas.
Red Dot, Red Dotted – having driving privileges taken away.
Resto – the lesson of the restoration. The pamphlet used to teach the restoration.
Role play – a fake lesson between missionaries to practice and improve skills.

S
STL – sister training leader
Sacrificial clothing – clothing burnt on certain days in an Elder’s mission. A tie at six months, a white shirt at a year and a suit at two years. A pagan practice.
Service clothes – see p-day clothes
Shepherd – helping people come to church
Sickle – Book of Mormon
Sifting – The process of seeing if people are solid or not.
Sister – 1. a missionary trained by the same trainer 2. A sister missionary
Six months to sexy – starting to work out six months before you go home so you look good when you get home.
Six weeks to Trunky – the last six weeks of one’s mission, when they have to complete the churches new program
Six pack of the mission – District Leader, term only used by leadership.
Smell of baptisms – the smell of western Kansas.
Slashtag ( / ) – used as a hashtag when something is really bad “/dropped /gunshots” see cashtag
Slump day – the three quarters mark of a mission.
Skinny a tie – the painstaking process of cutting and resewing a tie to make it skinnier.
Solid – likely to keep commitments or be baptized.
Son – a trainee of an Elder.
Spiritual giancy plan– A missionaries plan to increase their spiritual giancy; consists of Faith, Vision, Sanctification, Charity, and Atonement
State side – going on a mission in the United States.
Step mom/dad – a missionary who finishes the training of another missionary.
Step son/daughter– a trainee but only finishing the last half of their training.
Step brother/sister– a missionary partially trained by the same trainer.

T
Thrash – working really hard to identify investigators who will progress.
Therefore what – a summary of action after meetings or interviews.
Thondering – thinking/pondering, coined by Elder Myers while AP.
-Tism – specifying a type of person being baptized. E.g. Babe-tism, celebrity-Tism.
Top City – Topeka Kansas
To-puke-a – derogatory name for Topeka Kansas
Tracting – going door to door. Comes from the word tract which means a religious pamphlet. Giving away tracts.
Transfer – 1. A six week period of time. 2. Being reassigned proselyting areas between transfers.
Transfer Devo – A devotional held between transfers where new missionaries meet their trainers and Departing missionaries give their final testimony.
Transfer doctrine – the transfer document or knowledge about transfers
Transfer Journal – A notebook kept by missionaries for other missionaries to write notes in before transfers for the sake of remembrance. Similar to the purpose of a yearbook.
Trio – a companionship of three missionaries
Tripanionship– see trio
Trunky – comes from the old term “sitting on their trunks”. Ready to go home. Also, anything that would suggest a missionary is ready to go home.
Twelve week – the twelve week training program for new missionaries.

U
Utard – derogatory name for someone from Utah.

V
VPP – Vision Passion Power! Originally coined by Elder L. Tom Perry at a mission presidents conference as vigor passion power, but later changed by President Bell from vigor to vision.
Visa waiter– someone temporarily assigned to a mission while waiting for a visa to go to another mission.
Volentold – being volunteered for something, then being told you were volunteered, having your agency taken away in the situation.

W
Wet side: Wichita zone
W.O.W. – word of wisdom, D&C 89
White bible – the missionary handbook, used to settle most missionary disputes concerning mission rules.
White handbook – the missionary handbook
White Wash – to replace both missionaries in an area
We baptize – a form outlining the steps needed for an investigator to get baptized.
Worldly – anything not spiritual or focused on the work of the Lord

X

Y
YOMO – see YOSAMO
YOSAMO – You only serve a mission once.
YOSO – you only serve once.

Z
ZL – zone leader
Zebra Companionship – where there is two missionaries who are called to speak different languages are put together in a companionship.
Zone Bum – Name for zone leaders, most commonly used by zone leaders who don’t want to be zone leaders.
Zone Lord – nickname for zone leader
Zone Lizards – zone leader. All nicknames for zone leaders can apply to district leaders by changing the word zone to district. (Obviously)

“Language is one of your most powerful tools. Be conscious of how you speak, and strive for humility, dignity, and simplicity in your language. Refined, dignified language will clearly identify you as a servant of the Lord. Avoid slang and inappropriately casual language, even in your apartment with your companion or in letter to your family.” Missionary handbook p. 8

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